FRANK ZAPPA - Joe's Garage, Act I (1979) (2024)

As airtight an excuse for a commercial crossover as you'll find in Frank's discography.ZAPPA conceived Joe's Garage as a cautionary tale (tongue firmly in cheek) exposing theevils of rock & roll and the pernicious part it plays in the lives of two young people, Joe andMary. The composer was merely amplifying the conservative rhetoric of the right wing,who had begun discussing outloud the possibility that music was corrupting American youth(suggesting censorship as a possible palliative). An ardent supporter of free speech in art,ZAPPA flourishes in the role of the Central Scrooooooootinizer, pushing his twounsuspecting pawns (Joe and Mary) into the paths of prostitution (after a sort) andvenereal disease. The real story here, however, is one of wonderfully accessible music.Imagine the best parts of "Sheik Yerbouti" distilled ("Bobby Brown Goes Down", "JewishPrincess") with the guitar solos and complex arrangements contained to short bursts, andyou'll have the blueprint for Joe's Garage. The album generated a strong single in "CatholicGirls" -- which of course got limited airplay (who needs censorship?) -- and lots of fine,funny songs like "Wet T-Shirt Nite", "Joe's Garage" and "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"You'd have to go pretty far back (say, Over-Nite Sensation) to find another ZAPPA albumthat combined the appealing with the appalling for such a palatable mixture. It's notthat "Joe's Garage Act I" hits any higher highs than "Sheik Yerbouti" or Ship Arriving TooLate, it just hits them more consistently. Though it doesn't diminish the enjoyment of thisalbum, Act I does end on a cliffhanger, so you'll need to pick up the double-elpee Acts IIand III (released a few months later) to find out how Mary and Joe make out.

This record sounds complex American rhythmic pop rock: it is among the most accessiblerecords from the Zappa's discography. There are tons of excellent & catchy lead & backingvocals. Some bits are really complex and loaded; there are some harmonica parts, somesaxes arrangements and the percussion passages (xylophone) by Ed Mann are excellent,as always. The keyboards does not take too much room in order to let the rhythmic rockcharacter take all its meaning. The "Wet T-shirt" song is entertained by Zappa himself infront of a crowd: Dale Bozzio (The Missing Persons' singer) is the sexy contestant: she isabsolutely delightful with her chick's voice & laugh; the last part of this song contains oneof the best Zappa's guitar solos: the sound is CLEAN & rich, and each note is amazingly wellplayed, forming a melodic and structured solo. "Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up" is themodel track for the next record: "Joe's garage acts 2 & 3": this song is more mellow, abit "floating reggae" and it contains subtle & delicate guitar sounds. Zappa uses awhispering voice without any music during some intros and outros (Central Scrutinizer): thisidea will be repeated on the second "Joe's garage" album.

Rating: 4.5 stars

Frank Zappa's stab at a concept album is strikingly crude and unusual when compared tohis other works. It is very guitar oriented and features some of his best solos, it has hismost straightforward and rough lyrics, and some of the weirdest dialogue/storylines thatI've ever come across. Taking in the form of a 3 act Opera of sorts, Joe's Garage really is atelling of a youth who gets caught up in Rock and Roll and eventually loses everything hehas. The Central Scrutinizer (voiced by Zappa) tells the tale of young Joe, from his humbledays in the garage, to the final days at the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen. Featuring aplethora of guest musicians and vocalists, one cannot help but feel a bit overwhelmed atthe virtuosity of this album. From Vinnie Colaiuta to Tommy Mars, all the Zappa elite arehere and give top notch performances.

From the opening distorted voice of the Central Scrutinizer, to the arena rock-esque WhyDoes it Hurt When I Pee?, Frank really pulls out all the stops on this album. Act 1 is amagnificent effort that goes through all the classic Zappa forms, complicated timesignatures, complex chords and progressions, operatic yet subtle vocals, and wicked andsearing guitar solos. It almost seems too guitar oriented for Zappa. The highlights of thefirst Act are the single Catholic Girls, which has Zappa at his tackiest lyrically and a catchyriff, Joe's Garage, with great vocals and guitar play, and Why Does it Hurt When I Pee? forsheer bluntness and comedy.

Overall, Act 1 is a great opening to the Joe's Garage saga. More was to come in Acts IIand III, but are they up to par with Act I? Act I itself is brilliant, and it really acts as a great prelude to Acts II and III. 5/5.

I give the compilation disc of all three acts four stars but the two individual parts on three starseach? Preposterous.

In truth, however, there is a good reason for that. The problem with these releases being split is amatter of variety. Act I features some very interesting and exciting songs, but there is littlevariance and exploration on the disc compared to the other two acts. They even each other out,adding to each other, adding complicated pieces to simplistic pieces and experimental tracks tocommercial ones. On its own, Act I is a fine album with some good music. The music is mostly in thevein of Skeik Yerbouti, being more straightforward and exciting.

I'm going to copy and paste from my review of the double disc compilation, so you don't have to golooking for what I have to say about the songs. Here we go:

The music on Act I is the most commercial and generally least progressive, though that's a sillyway of looking at it, all told. Joe's Garage features a (surprise!) garage band sort of feel, withreferences to some golden oldies, such as the surfer classic Wipe-Out. The next few tracks arestandard Zappa bits, with dirty jokes and unique little bits here and there. All have terriblycatchy and terribly inappropriate melodies, I must add. And speaking of terribly catchy and terriblyinappropriate melodies, the peak of all awkward Zappa tunes comes up here: Why Does It Hurt When IPee? I swear, I have never come across a song so catchy or so unwise to sing out loud in front ofpeople. It truly is a stellar track, devoid of unnecessary parts--just bare bones quality.

This album gets three stars from me, though it really is a good release. The reason lies inpromotion. Which version should you get? The answer is the whole of Joe's Garage, not just Act I.

"It looks just like a Telefunken U-47."

It was almost as if Zappa was just warming up with Dinah Mo Hum and some of the stuff on Sheik Yerbouti, then with Joe's Garage he went and stuck it completely out.

Joe's Garage was released in 1979 as a three LP concept album set. Act I was offered up as a single disc with II and III being a double LP. I'm commenting on the whole piece here.

Sure, it starts out mildly enough with a little ditty about a garage band. The next thing you know we're into groupies, wet t-shirts, venereal disease, robot sex, prison sex, and it's all topped off with a little green rosetta. Let's just say you should probably keep this album away from children, with the possible exception of the instrumental, Watermelon In Easter Hay. Though I was in my teens when I first heard it, I don't think it has permanently warped me or anything, but then again...

When compared to the next to acts, this album seems a little bit mediocre.

Whereas Act II and III are excellent music-wise, this one seems to mainly try to gaincommercial success. The same humor is still in the music as the next two acts but theinstrumentation is really not up to par with them. The songs are still catchy nontheless,Catholic Girls for instance, but they just aren't amazing like the ones on the other two acts.

The storyline seems to get really screwed up between the first appearance of The CentralScrutinizer and the last appearance and that really kind of irks me, the whole appliantologything does really...

Nevertheless, it's a decent album, a great one for most artists and an OK one for Zappa.

3 stars.

"You'll love it; it's a way of life."

Joe's Garage opens to the threatening voice of Zappa as "the scrutinizer", enjoyablyrobotic and fun to the vamping of the rhythm section, with some sound effects thrown inthere for good measure. Not so much music as it is an experiment to set the tone, whichrecurs throughout the album. This gives way to the first proper tune, the titular sing-along "Joe's Garage". Kind of zany and trite in a sardonic way (which I think might describethe entire album), this tune is smartly catchy and plays like something out of the musicalGrease made manic with Zappa style-- it has more personality in the first twominutes than other artists try to cram into whole albums. "Catholic Girls" keeps the moodbrisk and light-hearted, sounding like a parody or genre-mix-match of showtunes, loungecrooners, and the avant-garde. Lots of fun vocal interplay as well.

Sleezy guitar and harmonica follow with "Crew slu*t", played with a western-feel whileaccompanying some very vulgar singing by Zappa. Great soloing here, but as a whole thissong shows how some of the songs on this disc lose their appeal once the initial shock oftheir lyrics has worn off. "Wet-T Shirt Contest" picks the bouncy pace back up again (punintended), with another catchy melody and trademark Zappa rock orchestration-- with heavyvibe work. Most will remember the dramatized contest itself though, with Zappa portrayingthe host. At this point the listener will be either completely turned off, embarassed, orlaughing out loud. One's reaction is likely to determine whether or not they'll continuelistening... because it only gets worse!

An extended and especially tasty guitar solo follows, a catchy song about VD, a surprisinglytender ballad, a unsubtle poke at new-age religion, disco beats to german lyrics, lots (and Imean lots) of sex with robotic-appliances, and lyrics which would make even a 14-year oldboy queezy with embarassment. Sound like a Zappa album yet?

Part 1 to "Joe's Garage" ends upruptly, but I enjoyed the journey immensely. Very fewalbums in my collection are more fun to listen to, and although this is Zappa'smost "accessible" album, it remains musically challenging and complex. There are layersof creativity hidden beneath the sleezery of the lyrics. Not to be missed, and a great placefor fans to start exploring Zappa's rock style.

Songwriting: 5 Instrumental Performances: 4 Lyrics/Vocals: 4 Style/Emotion/Replay: 5

It seems funny to me that I think of this as some of Frank Zappa's later work when in actualityit came out in only 1979. Nonetheless, this is a different side of Frank Zappa then whatappeared on his real early Mothers albums. The music is a little less weird, the lyrics are alittle more scatological, but the energy and the "not-taking-itself-too-seriously" mentality thatone can expect from Frank Zappa is definitely still here. "Joe's Garage" is a tongue-in-cheekconcept album about the dangers of rock-and-roll, narrated by "The Central Scrutinizer," akind of propagandistic character whose raspy words of warning appear throughout thealbum.

Speaking of The Central Scrutinizer, "Joe's Garage, Act I" begins with a track that bears hisname. The track is really just an introduction, featuring about a few minutes of spoken wordlyrics over an energetic, repeating groove. It sets the stage nicely and helps to establish thestory, but in my opinion three and a half minutes is a little too long for a spoken wordintroduction.

"Joe's Garage" is next, and it's a darn good song. It almost has the feel of a very vintage kindof Americana, with some simple but charming lyrics and some fun instrumental breaksmeant to represent the beginning attempts of "Joe's" band. It's a nice, pop-rock and roll track,and it's a hundred miles away from some of the experimental noise that appeared on theearly Mothers albums. The track ends with about 30 seconds of narration from the CentralScrutinizer before transitioning into the next track.

"Catholic Girls" is that follow up, and it's thoroughly goofy. Featuring some hilariouslyexaggerated vocals and equally ridiculous lyrics, the song transitions between a moreupbeat, doo-wop-ish section and a slower, more spaced-out section. It's still far more poppythan a lot of Zappa's past work, but the irreverent humor is thematically 100% Zappa.

And speaking of irreverent humor, "Crew slu*t" fits that description pretty nicely. Starting offwith a grooving and slightly sinister sounding guitar riff, "Crew slu*t" develops around somedriving bass-work into one of my favorite songs on the album. It's always amazing to me howZappa can write songs with such goofy lyrics, through in some spoken word sections, andstill make a better pop song than a whole lot of other artists who devoted their entire careerto that genre.

"Wet T-Shirt Night" continues much in the same vein, which should be utterly unsurprisingbased on that title. It's an incredibly cheerful sounding song with a strange-but-coolinstrumental towards the beginning that almost sounds like some kind of demented circusmusic, and I'm pretty sure at one points it quotes a brief bit of "Also Sprach Zarathustra." Likea lot of the album, it features a spoken word section, but it works pretty well here and doesn'tdetract from the song a bit.

"Toad O Line," which my copy lists as "On the Bus" is an instrumental that features Zappa'sguitar prominently. Like all of Zappa's instrumental work it's absolutely amazing, and it's aperfect transition point in the album, providing an intense break from the absurd lyricscontained on the rest of the disk.

Fear not, though, as "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee" brings those lyrics back in top form, andit's actually hands down my favorite song on the album and might even be one of my favoritesingle Zappa songs ever. Musically it's amazing, with some incredibly intense guitar andsome stellar keyboards as well. The frankly hilarious lyrics are delivered absolutelydeadpan, which only makes them funnier.

"Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up" closes off the album. It's a spacey, smooth track with anexcellent vocal performance and some psychedelic sound effects thrown in just for goodmeasure. It's a great, comparatively restrained song, and it's a great closer.

I began this review with the intention of giving this album 3.5 stars, but after listening throughit a couple more times I realize I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I called it anything lessthan excellent. If you need your lyrics serious then you probably won't enjoy this album, asthe lyrics are pervasive and at the forefront of the music, but if you enjoy a bit of humor inyour music then you owe it to yourself to hear this album. Certainly a bit poppy for Zappa, butwhen you can write songs as well as well as Mr. Zappa can then it really doesn't matter whatgenre you're writing in.

4/5